Some years ago, author and leadership expert Lance Secretan recommended that we should stop referring to the people in our organizations as "resources," making the point - "What do we do with resources?... We buy, sell, and exchange them." This is not how we should think of people, yet leaders of organizations routinely fall into this transactional trap. Leaders now find themselves fearful of attrition and reacting to the many people quitting their jobs during this mass exodus of 2021 now coined by many as "The Great Resignation."
Employers are asking questions like, "What do employees really want? Why are our people leaving? What would have them stay?" I see organizations coming up with the same old transactional solutions, namely - more money. Instead, employers could be asking, "What needs to change in our organization to make our work environment more appealing?"
A colleague of mine summed it up nicely in a very simple statement, but one that seemed oddly profound in the moment. He said, "If you want people to stay, you need to be nice to them." What struck me was not only its simplicity, but the fact that it pointed to the reality that work environments are not nice places for a lot of people. Why is that?! I attribute unappealing work environments in part to leaders and organizational cultures that devalue the human being and deprioritize the importance of empathy and relating, in favor of focusing predominantly on the completion of tasks and transactions as the primary indicator of the success of employees. This is in contrast to how most organizations treat their customers. Most organizations place a great deal of value on "customer/client service" and "customer care." How might employees feel and what might result if employees received the same level of care that organizations show their customers? We can see that leaders and businesses know how to care as evidenced by their investments in building strong relationships with their customers and clients. It's not from a lack of knowledge of how to treat people well that employers don't treat their employees with more care.
Employees are prioritizing relational factors at work.
As an executive coach, I frequently have conversations with leaders about retaining and engaging employees. According to the research cited in this excellent McKinsey and Company article on retention - "Great Attrition or Great Attraction - The Choice is Yours," employees are prioritizing relational factors at work such as how much they feel valued by their organization and manager, and their sense of belonging. This is in contrast to the transactional factors that employers are prioritizing, such as compensation and benefits. This resonates with my experience.
Over the years, I have had the opportunity to talk with leaders and employees at every level in organizations, and here are some of the reasons they are dissatisfied with their work, why they consider leaving, and why they decide to leave.
Poor manager relationship - The relationship with the manager ranges from being neutral to negative.
Inadequate opportunities - Access to opportunities of interest and/or greater responsibility is limited.
Lack of support/respect/value - They don't feel supported, respected, and/or valued by their leaders and organization.
Long hours - They too frequently experience work overload as opposed to balance.
Boredom - The experience of disinterest and lack of meaning, purpose, or sufficient value in their work.
In contrast, when I speak with managers about the things they consider doing to retain their best talent, here are the things managers talk about.
Having more socials for their teams.
Getting more "face time" with top talent.
Espousing the benefits of "sticking with it" and taking a long-term career perspective.
Compensating their people more.
Many leaders of organizations are going for the apparent quick and easy wins, rather than what their employees really care about.
There seems to be a disconnect here. It seems that leaders and organizations are inclined to address things of lesser importance to employees in order to retain them. They go for what seems to be quick and easy wins rather than deal with the more difficult problems. They lean on the immediate emotional levers more than taking a pragmatic approach to solving broader problems, leadership challenges, and systemic issues that might be poisoning their work environments, and in some cases, keeping them toxic. Leaders may over-value what employees report in engagement and exit surveys. I recently came across an employee survey that framed the request for employee experience feedback as tied to "rewards, benefits, and development opportunities." This framing is akin to asking a leading question, and possibly with the exception of "development opportunities," reveals the priority on transactional factors over relational factors, leadership deficiencies, or systemic challenges.
Engagement and exit survey data may not adequately take into account the reality that people in an organization may question what remains confidential, and those leaving an organization may fear retaliation or unwanted consequences in the form of judgment, negative impact on their brand, or "burning a bridge." The other factor to consider is that surveys may not offer questions that address systemic structures perceived to be unchangeable. Responders to the surveys may not comment on things perceived to be unchangeable, or difficult to change. Some examples of this are work hours, clients or customers served, leadership, co-worker behaviors, company culture, or the very nature of the work they do. These may be perceived as virtually unchangeable. If this is the case, the result is that the data then reflects only part of the picture. The answer to the question of satisfaction with compensation will rarely be high satisfaction, especially when needs are not being met in these other areas. Employees (like employers) are subject to the belief that more money will satisfy them, when in fact it will not.
More money will not solve the problem.
This creates a problem. Organizations throw money at people to keep them while the problems that tempt them to leave never get fully addressed and resolved. The money acts as a catalyst for inducing a dopamine hit that improves an employee's mood and disposition toward the organization temporarily. Yet, the pain of poor leadership and systemic problems at the organization remain, and eventually, the pain is felt again. When people are leaving an organization in droves, something is broken in the organization's system. The problem is not with the people who are leaving. Correcting the problem by giving people more money is like only treating a broken leg with a pain reliever. The pain is diminished for a while, but the leg still doesn't function properly.
We need leaders to be courageous enough to question the seemingly unchangeable practices, drivers, and norms for how they conduct their businesses in favor of seeing what it would take for their organization to function properly. When discussing possibilities for organizational culture change, I had a leader put it to me this way - "If it's not going to maximize profits, then it's a non-starter and off the table." This is where leaders need to take a broader perspective. If the priority is the short-term monthly, quarterly, and annual results at the expense of long-term benefits, then root causes of systemic issues won't be addressed. After all, why set the broken leg and prescribe rest, when we can keep the person moving by simply giving them a pain reliever and a pair of crutches?
It's not the profit motive that drives the short-term bad behavior of leaders. It's the "profit priority" that does this. Organizations need to expand beyond this singular focus and prioritize something larger that includes growth and profit as well as other indicators of a healthy organization. An expanded focus could prioritize a "culture of care" that would include things like organizational purpose, inclusion, and belonging, in addition to employee engagement, appreciation, value, and development.
Prioritize developing a culture of care.
Research has shown that leadership empathy and appreciation are primary factors in determining whether or not employees stay with an organization (as reported in a 2019 Businessolver State of Workplace Empathy study, and 2019 study by the O.C. Tanner Learning Group, respectively). I am reminded of the arduous project I was on many years ago as a consultant in which people were asked to work 12+ hour days, 6 to sometimes 7 days a week for months on end. I recall the moment that we were asked to work over a 4th of July weekend to meet a release deadline and the conversation I had with the senior manager at the time. I told him that while I could get the apparent need and request for us to work, I could not understand how the partner was relating to us (rather, not relating). I then said that even though people were getting sick and dropping off the project like flies, that many of us would do as requested, but that the least the partner could do was say "thank you."
The next day the entire team received thank you notes and gift cards. Although I had to ask for it, it still meant something that the partner showed some appreciation. It is worthy of note that the partner in charge of that project never showed his face and never came to the “war room” to see the team of more than 20 that occupied that conference room for the entire duration of that project. Except for that gift card and note, that partner showed no empathy and no appreciation. He didn't seem to care.
In contrast, I’ve had the opportunity to work for some caring people who have shown both empathy and appreciation. These people have been at the heart of my best work experiences and I have loved working for them. Not only do they say "thank you" for a job well done, but they show interest in and appreciation for the skills I bring and the things I value. I have felt appreciated when they have expressed interest in the things I care about, taking the time to inquire about what those things are. I've felt most appreciated when these caring leaders pay attention to what’s needed to help me do my job most effectively. This style of leadership is not only supportive but is nurturing. That’s right... I said "nurturing." This is not a word used frequently in a business context, and in fact, might even be considered too “soft." The reality though is that to nurture in the business environment simply means to empathize with, value, and develop another.
As a fan of superheroes, I am reminded of the style of leadership of Professor Xavier of the X-Men in Marvel comics. He's portrayed as a leader that appreciates the abilities and skills of those he leads. He works to not only position them on the team for success but to develop them so that they can realize their full potential. I've been fortunate to experience this in real life. I believe every leader wants their people to reach their potential, but every manager doesn’t do this because they don’t see a place for nurturance (a.k.a. care and support) in the workplace. They remain too focused on the operations and on commanding and controlling their people rather than creating an environment where their people thrive and grow.
Become a nurturing leader - one that expresses empathy, value, and developmental support for your people.
As a coach, I’ve spoken to many leaders who choose to avoid having honest, direct, and vulnerable conversations in which they tell the truth and show appreciation. I’ve had leaders admit to me that they don’t express appreciation more frequently during busy times out of fear that if they do, the people working for them might "take their foot off the gas" and not work as hard. So, instead, they exert pressure through indifference or at worst callousness. This is damaging to morale. Unfortunately, business culture at this time in history can be experienced as cold and indifferent to employees. If your organization is led by people who show care and appreciation for its people, that’s a differentiator and is a difficult thing for employees to leave behind.
More money is no substitute for leaders that care, recognize, and develop their people.
A great resource for ways to show appreciation is the "Five Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace" by Gay Chapman and Paula White. I recommend you try all five. The promise of a lucrative and advancing career is not enough either. As an employee in the organization, "What am I experiencing now, from day-to-day? Am I experiencing managers and leaders that see and value me as an individual, or am I just a number and a means to an end?" I know that this servant style of leadership that nurtures people is possible even in difficult environments because I’ve experienced it. Organizations need to prioritize, recognize, and reward leaders who do this so that it becomes more of the norm rather than the exception.
Leadership nurturance needs to become the norm rather than the exception.
Lastly, I think it’s worth making a few points on purpose and fulfillment. Like for many others, the pandemic for me got me thinking. I realized that I could die sooner rather than later. I watched as others I knew faced death. I watched my mother-in-law die. I began to ask myself questions about meaning and purpose. I contemplated, "What’s really important? What is really important to me? If I’m going to make a life change, why not now?" While these are personal questions, leaders and organizations have the opportunity to listen and help with the answers. In my case, I realized that the organization that I am currently a part of allows for enough space for me to fulfill my purpose. Through the work that I do, I can contribute to solving the problems that are most important to me. I’ve written an article here about the importance of contribution in living your purpose. Although I did not leave my job due to the pandemic, I chose change by picking up and relocating from Atlanta to Denver. This provided me and my family with the needed refresh and restart that met our needs and desire for change and growth.
Take the time to discuss purpose with your people.
If you are a leader in an organization trying to keep your people, how are you creating an environment where they have space to fulfill their purpose? How are you creating space and opportunities for change and growth? When I say "change" I don’t mean top-down change. I mean grassroots change. How is your organization changing in response to the needs of your people? How clear is your purpose and how inclusive is your purpose to those in your organization? These are not easy questions to answer, but they are answerable if the leaders in your organization take the time to prioritize discussing these things. If your reaction is, “We don’t have time for this. We have a business to run," then you don’t have time for the things your people care about and you’re going to lose some of them. In fact, you may lose more of them than you want. The pandemic invited us to consider the importance of meaning in our lives. If your people do not find meaning in your organization, they may leave to find it elsewhere.
In conclusion, if you want people to stay, yes, be nice to them. This means take the time to listen and support what your people care most about, begin to make the difficult changes, and please, express gratitude by telling them "thank you." Your employees will appreciate you for it and just might stick around.